Between You and Me
by MusicMeansEverything
Summary: Sometimes it's harder to accept the truth than you would think...
1. Chapter 1

"Sam, we need to talk."

"What about Dylan? What could we possibly find to talk about?"

"The divorce, we need to act like adults about this."

Sam glanced across the staff room, she could see Zoe on the other side, obviously listening but trying to look like she wasn't.

"Ok, come to mine tonight. We'll have a coffee or whatever and talk."

Dylan looked at Sam in shock. That had been easier than expected. He had at least expected a blazing row or her accusing him of something or other.

"I'll...see you...tonight then?"

"Yes you will Dylan," Sam replied, leaving the room.

Dylan watched her leave the room wistfully. Then he saw Tom and the small smile immediately left his face.

"Zoe, what's the difference between me and Tom?"

Zoe smirked. "One's kind, caring, looks like he actually wants to look after people and doesn't look like a fish."

"Oh, ha ha Doctor Hanna,"

Zoe did a mock bow and left the room. There was a pile of paperwork in her office with her name on it. Dylan sat on his own and thought about the evening ahead. What to wear? Smart or casual? 


	2. Chapter 2

Sam thought carefully about what had just happened with Dylan. He'd seemed too happy, had she given him the wrong signals? She couldn't think of anything she'd said that could have been taken the wrong way, but he'd just seemed a little bit too pleased to be coming to her house. Maybe she'd made a mistake in inviting him? Well, it was too late now, she'd just have to grit her teeth and bear it. She could deal with this.

"Sorry to interrupt you and your thoughts but you're needed in resus," Tom smiled.

Sam jumped slightly but tried o hide it. "What have we got?"

"Hit and run, she's in a pretty bad way, we need all hands on deck, Linda's already had to leave."

"Why?"

"With injuries like her's, you're going to need a strong stomach."

Sam thought back to her days in the army, the things she'd witnessed and the horrific injuries she'd had to treat. The lies she'd told. A young soldier had had both legs blown off in a bomb attack. And he kept begging her, pleading her, to tell him that he still had his legs. And just like that, she'd said yes, just to try and ease his suffering for a little while. She'd never found out what had happened to him.

"What are we waiting for?" she asked.

She followed Tom to resus, with a sense of longing and lust in her eyes. She couldn't stop looking at him.

The patient was a young girl, couldn't have been more than twenty, and she was understandably terrified. Tom was trying to reassure her, explaining everything that they were doing. Zoe caught Sam watching him, so she quickly looked away.

"Does it look bad?" she asked.

"No, of course not," Sam answered. There was she, lying again.

"It must be, that nurse had to leave!" She broke down in tears.

Sam panicked and tried to think of something to say.

"Let's just concentrate on getting you better," said Tom.

Sam shot him a grateful look and tried to control her blushing. How was he so perfect? And why was she finding him so hard to resist? 


	3. Chapter 3

Zoe ushered everyone who was treating Ruby, the hit and run patient, just out of her earshot.

"Listen, you need to make sure that no matter what, she doesn't get her hands on a mirror, at least until we've had a chance to talk to plastics," she muttered. "It's her face that I'm worried about her seeing."

Everyone nodded in agreement apart from Sam.

"Why can't she look?"

"Sam, the whole right hand side of her body is practically mangled!" said Tom, obviously shocked.

"She has the right to-"

"As Clinical Lead and main doctor on this case I'm forbidding you to give her a mirror," said Zoe sternly.

Sam opened her mouth to protest.

"No arguments."

Sam stormed from the room. Tom looked over at Zoe, who nodded. He followed Sam outside.

"What's wrong?"

"If she wants to look then she should be able to!"

"It's in her best interests."

"How is it?!"

"Would you like to see yourself in that state?"

Sam stood in silence, it was obvious that she couldn't win this. She looked up at the clock. Her shift finished in ten minutes, no one would notice if she left early. She stalked to the staff room to get her things, and then she was gone. 


	4. Chapter 4

When she arrived home, she quickly got in the shower, got changed, did her hair and make up and waited for Dylan to arrive. Would he come straight from work? Or would he have to go and check on Dervla first? Yes, thinking about it, that was a lot more likely.

There was a knock on the door. Sam jumped up and tried to flatten her hair. Why was she so bothered about how she looked? For Dylan of all people? She opened the door and saw Dylan stood on her doorstep.

"Dylan." She opened the door a bit wider so he could get in.

"Samantha."

"It's Sam."

They stood awkwardly in the hallway.

"Come through," said Sam, walking in to the living room. Dylan followed her and stood in the doorway.

"Sit down."

Dylan did as Sam said and plonked himself in the nearest seat. Sam sat down too and they said nothing for a few minutes.

"Where did you go?"

"What?" Sam asked, more sharply than she had intended.

"You left before the end of your shift."

"It was ten minutes."

"Zoe's furious."

"Hmm."

"Do you want to lose your job?"

Silence.

"Zoe's Clinical Lead, she could make life very difficult for you."

"Like she doesn't already."

"What's she ever done to you?"

"I didn't know you were so willing to defend your precious Zoe!"

"I can't talk to you when you're in one of these moods," said Dylan, standing up to leave.

"What moods?" said Sam, rising from her chair.

"When you're acting like this!"

"How am I acting?"

Dylan never got the chance to reply. Sam pounced on him and kissed him passionately on the lips. Dylan wound his arms around her and kissed her back. Seconds later, they were bounding upstairs to Sam's bedroom. 


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Sam woke up to see Dylan hurriedly getting dressed.

"Dylan?"

"This was a terrible mistake."

Sam sat up, pulling the duvet tightly around her body, Dylan pulled on his socks and searched the room for his shoes. After shoving them on he walked to the door.

"I'm going to work, let's not mention this again."

Dylan left the room and Sam heard her front door slam. She leant over and grabbed her phone from her bedside table. She dialled Zoe's number and waited impatiently for her to answer.

_"Hello?"_

"Hi Zoe, it's me."

_"Are you ok?"_

"No, actually, I'm not. I'm really sorry but I can't make it to work today."

_"Why not?"_

"I've got an awful migraine, I can't see straight."

_"Oh, ok. Will you be in tomorrow?"_

"Yes."

_"Ok, get well soon!"_

"Bye."

Sam cut off the call and chucked her phone across the room. She pulled her duvet over her head and started to sob. Why did she always mess things up?!


	6. Chapter 6

Dylan threw himself down into his favourite armchair and began to think. What had he done? All he'd wanted since Sam had arrived in Holby was to get back with her, and now he'd dashed every hope of that ever happening. Why had he pushed her away? Because he knew it wasn't him she really wanted? It was Tom-and how could he compete with the oh-so-perfect Tom?

Dervla whined at Dylan's feet-as if she could sense the turmoil he was going through. He patted her clumsily and then put his head in his hands. He ran his hands through his hair and silently begged that everything had just been one horrible dream. But he knew that was just never going to happen.

He grabbed Dervla's lead and made his way to the park, Dervla trotting obediently at his heels. He sat on a bench and watched all the dogs running around. He suddenly spotteda familiar face. He looked around but could see no escape route.

"Dylan!"

"Amanda."

"You here with Dervla?"

"Yes."

"I've brought Ziggy, he's around here somewhere."

"Oh."

"You're not at work today then?"

"Obviously not."

"Are you ok? You seem a bit grouchy."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? We could always go to the pub and have a talk?"

"Stop! Just leave me alone Amanda, you're always there, I'm not interested!"

Amanda looked at Dylan in shock. She brushed a tear from her eye.

"That, Dylan Keogh, is why you have no friends!"

She stalked away angrily and left Dylan on his own once again. 


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a few weeks since Sam and Dylan's night together. They had tried their very hardest to stay away from each other and neither of them had mentioned anything to anybody else.

Sam and Zoe were in Zoe's office. Sam was staring at the floor and Zoe was trying to get eye contact with her.

"What's up Sam?"

"I've told you, nothing, I'm absolutely fine."

"I don't believe you."

"That's not my problem."

"It is when you've been neglecting your work."

"When has that happened?!"

"Do I need to bring up what happened last week?"

"It was one time!"

"How did you not notice he'd broken his leg?!"

"I've been preoccupied!"

"And don't I know it!"

"I think I might be pregnant!" The words tumbled out before Sam could stop them.

"You think?"

"I haven't done a test yet, but I'm nearly three weeks late."

"Whose is it?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Is it-" Zoe nodded at someone out of the window. Sam turned around and saw Dylan. A single tear rolled down her cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

"You alright mate?" Tom asked, playfully hitting Dylan on the arm.

"I'm not your mate!" Dylan snappned, pushing Tom's hand away.

"Dylan?"

"Just stay away from me! Ok?"

Tom watched Dylan walk away. It must be about Sam, Tom thought, but they weren't even together, just flirting a little bit, and that wasn't hurting anyone, was it? And her and Dylan didn't have anything to do with each other now, they hated each other, so what was his problem?

"What's wrong with Dylan?" Linda asked, interrupting Tom's thoughts.

"I don't know, I think he's just being Dylan."

"Is it because you and Sam are together?"

"We're not."

"It's quite obvious you are."

"Stay out of my business!" Tom shouted, storming away.

Linda shook her head. "Doctors..."

"Whoa, Tom looked angry," said Lloyd, walking over to where Linda was stood.

"If only you'd seen Dylan about a minute earlier."

"Have you seen Zoe by any chance? There's an RTC coming in in nine minutes and we need a doctor."

"She's talking to Sam in her office. When I walked past, it looked like Sam was crying."

"I wonder why..." 


	9. Chapter 9

"I can't believe this is happening. I can cope with being pregnant but not with it being Dylan's!"

"You need to do a test," Zoe replied gently. "You're not going to know for sure unless you do one."

"I know, but I'm scared to find out."

There was a knock on the dorr and Lloyd poked his head round.

"Hi Zoe, sorry to disturb you, but there's an incoming RTC, six minutes."

"Thanks Lloyd, I'll be there in a minute."

Lloyd shut the door and Zoe stood up to follow him.

"Zoe?"

"Yes?"

"You won't mention this to anyone will you?"

"Of course not, but you're going to need to tell Dylan soon."

"I know."

"Phone me tonight with the results."

"I will."

Zoe left the room and Sam wiped her eyes. She didn't want anyone to see that she had been crying. She didn't show her emotions, it just wasn't her. Not even Dylan, who'd been her husband, had ever seen her cry.

She stepped out of the office and took a deep breath. She had to do the test now, she couldn't wait any longer. 


	10. Chapter 10

This must have been the longest five minutes of Sam's life. She had done the test, washed and dried her hands and she still had three minutes left to wait. She paced the toilets and quickly shoved the test into her pocket when someone opened the door.  
"Linda."

"You alright Sam?"

"Yeah, I just needed a minute to myself," Sam replied, hoping Linda would get the hint.

"Oh, ok. I just came to top up my make up."

Sam pulled a face behind Linda's back. She'd never liked Linda. When she'd first arrived in Holby, Linda had caused trouble by priniting off a picture of Sam and Dylan's wedding and showing it to other members of staff.

"Well, I'll be off then," said Sam, leaving before Linda could strike up a conversation with her.

Sam headed straight to the staff room. All she needed was a bit of privacy to check the test and deal with the results. She walked in and saw Dylan. The last person she wanted to see. They completely ignored each other.

Sam opened her locker and got the test out of her pocket. She pretended to rummage around in her locker but actually looked at the test.

No, no, no, this couldn't be happening.

She was pregnant.

With Dylan Keogh's baby.  



	11. Chapter 11

She quickly turned around and spoke before she could stop herself.

"Dylan, there's something I need to tell you and you're not going to like it. I'm pregnant."

Dylan stared at Sam blankly. "Is it mine?"

"What kind of a slut do you take me for! Yes, it's yours!"

"You idiot Sam Nicholls! Have you never heard of the morning after pill?"

"Don't pin all the blame on me! It takes two to tango!"

"You're not thinking of keeping it are you?"

"Are you suggesting I have an abortion?"

"Yes!"

"That's it! I'm going to make things clear! I'm not aborting this baby and when it's born, you're playing no part in it's life at all!"

"You can't do that, it's my baby as much as yours!"

"You were telling me to abort it a second ago!"

Sam stormed from the room and Dylan shot after her. She headed for the exit, she needed some fresh air.

"Sam! I didn't mean it, I was in shock!"

"In shock?! How do you think I feel!"

"We're too dysfunctional to have a child!"

Sam turned to walk away, she needed to get away from him. She stalked away-right into the path of an ambulance. Tamzin hit the brakes and pressed the horn. Sam screamed. Dylan ran forward and pushed her out of the way. Sam landed on the ground and turned around in time to see Dylan being hit by the ambulance.

"Dylan? Dylan!" Sam screamed. She ran over to his lifeless body on the ground, and looked up at the ambulance.

"We need some help here!" she heard Jeff shout, his voice thick with tears.

Sam wondered why he was so upset. Him and Dylan never even spoke. Then she saw it. Tamzin unconscious at the steering wheel.

What had she done? 


	12. Chapter 12

Sam knew she should switch herself into 'doctor mode' and begin to treat Dylan or Tamzin but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"I'm so, so, sorry Dylan. Of course you can be part of their life, I was just angry. Please wake up."

"Come on Sam," said Zoe, helping her up. "We need to get you checked over."

"Don't fuss Zoe, I'm fine," Sam replied, watching Dylan being wheeled into the ED by Fletch, Tess and Lloyd.

"Yes, but is the baby?" Zoe hissed. "Think about your priorities."

"What was that?" Tom asked, walking up behind Sam and Zoe.

"You can talk later, just help me get Sam to a cubicle please!" Zoe snapped.

Tom and Zoe carefully guided Sam, who was protesting the whole way, to a cubicle.

"I can take this from here," Tom told Zoe when they had Sam on a trolley.

Zoe dashed away to go and help treat Dylan and Tamzin. Tom waited until she was out of earshot. He pulled the curtains of the cubicle shut.

"So when were you going to tell me?" he asked, snapping on some gloves.

"What?" Sam asked.

He started to gently press on her stomach. "That you're pregnant?" He fetched an ultrasound machine and began to scan.

"I only found out today."

"And you told Zoe before me?"

"I didn't think it'd matter to you."

"You're carrying my baby, who's fine by the way, of course it matters to me!"

"I think...I think you've got the wrong end of the stick.2

"What?"

"Tom, this baby, it's not yours..."

"Then who the bloody hells is it?!"

"Dylan's." 


	13. Chapter 13

There was a stunned silence. Lloyd suddenly burst into the cubicle.

"Tom, you're needed urgently in resus!"

Tom jumped up and followed Lloyd, leaving Sam on her own. Sam got up as quickly as she could and dashed down the corridor. What was happening to Dylan?

When she got to the doors, Tess stopped her.

"Sam, it's ok. Dylan's stable, he's been moved up to intensive care. He's on a ventilator but he should be ok."

"Then why was Tom needed urgently?" Sam asked desperately.

"It's for Tamzin. I don't think she's going to make it. She's got severe internal bleeding. She took the full force and impact of the crash."

"Oh my God, what have I done?" Sam whispered. "If I could swap places with them I would."

"This isn't your fault," said Tess soothingly.

"But it is Tess, I walked out in front of the ambulance and Dylan pushed me out of the way and now I'm in such a mess!"

"Calm down. Come on, you can talk to me, I'm not going to judge you."

"I've been so stupid. It all started with a one night stand..." 


	14. Chapter 14

"Oh Sam," Tess sighed, rubbing Sam's back comfortingly. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know!" Sam replied, breaking down.

"You can get through this Sam, you're strong, I believe in you."

"But Dylan hates me, Tom hates me, everyone's going to think I'm a slag, I might have killed Tamzin and I'm pregnant! How can I get through this? It's like I'm having a nightmare and I just can't wake up, I'm in hell Tess!"

At that moment the resus doors opened and Tom walked out. He looked at Tess and shook his head before quickly walking away.

"I need to get out of here," was all Sam managed to say before she ran out of the eit. She didn't stop running until she arrived somewhere she never thought she'd see again.

Dylan's boat. 


	15. Chapter 15

She had to get inside, she had to feel close to him. She rifled through the potted plant by the door until she found his spare house key. Dylan always kept it there, she didn't know why.

Sam unlocked the door and stepped into the familiar boat. It even smelt like Dylan, the same aftershave he'd worn every day for years. On the wall was a convas picture of their wedding. Sam choked back the tears that were about to overwhelm her. Had he ever gotten over her?

Her gaze lingered on his favourite chair. It was old, worn, battered, but he had always refused to buy a new one. His well read copy of the Sherlock Holmes book lay on the table next to the chair. Sam could just picture him now-sat reading every night with only Dervla for company. What a lonely life to lead.

And now he was all alone in Intensive Care, without even his dog for company, while she sat about and moped, feeling sorry for herself. How pathetic could she get?

Sam jumped up and after one last sweeping glance around the room, she shut and locked the door, before making her way back to Holby. 


	16. Chapter 16

Sam walked through the main reception of the E.D, making her way to the lift, to Dylan.

"Oi!" She heard behind her. She didn't bother turning round, it'd be a drunk having a go at an innocent doctor or nurse.

"Sam! I want to talk to you and I want to talk to you now!" The same voice shouted.

"Jeff, stop!" Dizie called out.

Sam turned around.

"Leave her Jeff!" Dixie warned.

"Tamzin's dead and it's all your bloody fault!"

"Ignore him Sam, it's not." Dixie was now tugging on Jeff's arm, trying to pull him away.

"Get off me!" Jeff shouted at Dixie, yanking his arm out of her grasp. "You've killed Tamzin and you could have killed your husband! Are you pleased with yourself?!"

"What the hell is going on?" Nick shouted, coming out of resus.

Jeff collapsed to the floor, uncontrollably sobbing. Tom and Fletch grabbed him under his arms and half dragged him to a cubicle, where he could have some privacy.

"I...I need to go," Sam managed to stammer before rushing into the lift. She leant against the back wall and took a deep breath, closing her eyes. 


	17. Chapter 17

When she arrived in the Intensive Care Unit, Sam was terrified. She couldn't imagine Dylan in such a helpless state. She was seriously thinking about turning around and leaving the ward again, when a young nurse walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm Nurse Cassidy, do you need any help?"

"I'm, erm, looking for Dylan Keogh."

"Oh yes, I'm actually taking care of Mr Keogh, he's coming along very well."

"That's great."

Nurse Cassidy lead Sam to Dylan and then, after giving Sam an encouraging smile, left them alone. Sam gingerly sat own in the chair next to Dylan's bed. She grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly.

She was never letting go of him again. 


	18. Chapter 18

When Sam had spent a couple of hours with Dylan, Nurse Cassidy walked over to her.

"I really hope you don't mind me saying this or think I'm being rude," she began, "but you look exhausted. Why don't you go home and get some rest. Give me your number and I'll phone you if there's any change with Dylan."

Sam smiled at her gratefully. "I don't know, I should probably stay."

"I promise I'll phone you."

Sam stood up and kissed Dylan's forehead. She noticed out of the corner of her eye that his heart rate on the monitor went up. She smiled to herself. "Thank you so much, I'll be back as soon as possible."

She left the ward, glancing back at Dylan as she did so. She rang a taxi and walked quickly through the ED, ignoring Tom who called after her.

Her taxi was already there so she jumped straight in, told the driver her address and sat back in her seat. She was nearly back at her house when her phone rang.

"Hello?"

_"Hello Miss Nicholls, it's Nurse Cassidy."_

"Oh my God, is Dylan ok?"

_"There's no need to panic, he's waking up."_

"Thank you so much, I'll be there right away!"

She turned to the taxi driver and spoke to him urgently.

"Can you take me back to Holby City Hospital please?"

"You must be joking love, I've just picked you up from there!"

"I need to go back!"

"Your fare will be double the price it is now," he warned.

"Listen here," she looked at his name badge, "Patrick, my husband is waking up from a coma right now so turn around!"

"When you put it like that..." said Patrick, turning the car around and speeding back to the hospital.

Ten minutes later Sam was bursting onto the ward and running to Dylan's bedside.

"Dylan!"

"Samantha," he managed to croak back.


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm so sorry about this Dyaln, it's all my fault! I was so scared I was going to lose you!"

"Are you and baby ok?"

"Yes, we're both fine, all thanks to you!"

Sam noticed how tired Dylan looked, he was struggling to keep his eyes open.

"Have a sleep Dylan, I'll go and let everyone know you're ok."

Dylan nodded and closed his eyes. Sam watched him for a moment before heading to the lift, it was time to face everyone.

As soon as the lift doors opened Zoe pounced on her.

"How's Dylan?"

"He's woken up, he's fine."

"Dylan's fine!" Zoe shouted for the rest of the ED to hear.

Everyone sighed with relief and a few random comments were heard.

"That's geat!"

"I knew he would be."

"I might go and see him later."

Sam caught Tom's eye and felt immense guilt. She'd lead him on so much. 'I'm sorry' she mouthed to him.

He nodded and smiled and Sam immediately knew that he forgave her. She felt like a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 


	20. Chapter 20

**8 Months later**

"Come on Sam, you can do this!" Dylan urged, wiping the sweat from Sam's forehead.

"Can you push for me now Sam?" the midwife asked.

"I am bloody pushing!" Sam shouted.

"Right, one more push," the mindwife encouraged.

Sam pushed as hard as she could and screamed out in pain. Before she properly knew what was going on, the midwife was placing a baby in her arms and Dylan was crying.

"You've got a baby girl."

"Hello Lara," Sam cooed, holding her tiny fingers.

Dylan kissed Sam and then Lara on the cheek.

"We've got our proper family now," Dylan smiled. "All four of us."

"Four?" Sam asked, confused.

"You, me, Lara and Dervla, you didn't forget Dervla did you?"

"Of course not," Sam laughed.


End file.
